Prepping your child for a new dog
Always watch dogs and children closely, especially around each other
I knew my older nephew had just arrived because my Labrador Retriever/German Shepherd mix took off running at lightning speed. Whether it was the basement or the backyard, he wanted to get as far away from that little boy yelling “Chef! Chef! Chef! Where’s Chef?”
I would watch Shep (his real name, my nephew was just too young to pronounce it correctly) hide, and I’d giggle a little. This was the exact opposite of my interaction with this dog. I was 9 years old when Shep came into my life, and I wanted nothing to do with him as a puppy. He spent a great deal of time bugging me while I tried to get away from him as quickly as I could, but my mother kept opening the porch door whenever she’d ask me to wash dishes.
She needed me to not be scared of the family dog — that she brought home although I protested — and so she’d conveniently need to open the back door every single time she’d ask me to do a kitchen chore. It was annoying as hell, but it worked. I went from being scared to irritated to loving that fluffy ball of fur that always smelled like lemons. You would swear the dog was mine alone the way she talks about him at present day.
Recommended Read: “Getting over your fear of dogs ~ ‘Ready to Love’: Why Darin letting his Labs run loose wasn’t a bad idea”
Growing up, my older brother and I spent far more time with him than my parents did. However, I don’t think any of the four of us were as crazy about Shep as my oldest nephew was. (My younger nephew was scared of him and kept his distance. In turn, Shep seemed to like him more — the pup always liked kids who didn’t like him.) But my older nephew was fighting for his affection at all times. Poor kid.
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I see this happen all the time, including during my house-sitting days pre-COVID-19 (and before I was the condo association president and debated my way into getting rid of the no-dog policy). I remember house-sitting and dog-sitting for a 15-year-old Golden Retriever. When I stepped in the door, the dog was wary of me and ice-grilled me. His hearing was gone, but his sight was razor sharp. Eventually though, he let me pet him.
My eyebrow raised when I heard the dog growl at the owner’s daughter, who was maybe about 7 or 8. She copied me and tried to pet him, too. While I expected there to be a warm-up period with a total stranger, the dog clearly was tolerating my touch far more. My client (her mother) immediately reminded the girl, “Gentle. Remember how I said you have to be gentle?” From that observation alone, I could tell that this dog and the daughter had a rocky relationship. I was not surprised to find out that both of them often competed for their “parent’s” affection. Both dogs and children have a rough time understanding that they can be friends instead of competitors. And if they’re not made to feel that way early on, expect sibling rivalry to start.
Here are some tips for parents (or guardians) who want to help their dogs and children get along.
Never let the child think poking the dog or poking her fingers in crates is a game. When a dog is in a confined space already and cannot get out, or at least move, the last thing it wants to do is feel like it’s being cornered. Make sure your child understands that when the dog is in the crate, it’s hands-off time until you’re ready for the dog to run freely.
Never let a child take food away from a dog. When my mother was about 6 or 7, her grandmother asked her to throw away a meat bone. She threw it out, but my mother didn’t catch it successfully. The family bulldog saw that as an opportunity to eat it. My mother reached for the bone. The bulldog nipped at her hand, and she jumped back. Her grandmother grabbed a broom to make sure the bulldog didn’t do anything else, and he took off with the bone. I was surprised that my mother wasn’t scared of dogs after that. Her “fear” lasted two days before she went right back to playing with the dog. (He later had to be taken by the pound because the bulldog did not react well to her grandfather dying. It’s still unclear whether the bulldog knew her grandfather died or was he just missing his two-legged best friend. He just did not handle the death well.)
Both dog trainers and veterinarians will often warn people to never compete with a dog and food. Some dogs are very territorial about food while others will huff off. Know who you’re dealing with ahead of time. Puppies have 28 baby teeth, and adult dogs have 42 permanent teeth. Humans have 20 as babies and 32 permanent teeth. Let the living being with more teeth win the food fight. While this should not stop dog owners from learning the “leave it” technique or trying to distract the dog with something else, do not let the dog and the child end up battling over any food ever. Dogs have elephant memories and can too easily consider the kid a threat if this is done repeatedly. With that said, I was assigned to feed Shep treats and food all the time as a child. But he was fully aware that I was a regular feeder, not there to take his food from him so we were always pretty cool.
Recommended Read: “When your dog gets mouthy ~ Acknowledging the difference between playful nibbling and dog bites”