Pros and cons of your dog matching your energy around strangers
A hard lesson I learned about repetition and curbside pickups with pets
I’d brought my Hound mix along for a zillion double-duty walks: exercise for the both of us and errands crossed off of my to-do list. If I had to pick up a prescription, I’d walk through the drive-thru with her (and curious drivers quickly figured out why I was walking instead of behind the wheel of a car). If I was hungry while walking Junee, I’d order fast food via the restaurant app and wait near the entrance door to pick up the curbside order. And although I was boycotting Target years before other Black folks took a stand against the retail chain, competing retail and grocery stores had no problem with me standing in a parking space with my dog to collect my curbside grocery order.
What I didn’t realize is I was slowly training my dog to get used to strangers walking up to us to hand over packages. When we passed the Golden Arches, she immediately sniffed and turned from me to McDonald’s, thinking every single time we walked by meant she got one French fry. When we crossed paths with a Starbucks, she assumed it was Puppuccino time. My four-legged fitness trainer was becoming the worst food influencer ever. Even if we walked past a pharmacy drive-thru, her body was automatically moving toward cars driving up to pharmacy windows, regardless of whether I had a 90-day prescription and no need to return.
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And curbside spots at grocery stores were another moment that I had to reevaluate my double-duty idea. Even if I was using the parking lots solely as shortcuts, she paused to sit down in a random parking spot to wait on an employee to come out so she could nose through the grocery bags.
The only reason she stopped doing that was because she caught on to my routine beforehand. She figured out when a grocery store run was about to happen if she saw me switch from my Shutterfly dog-walking bag to a backpack, which is easier for organizing smaller hot and cold items.
But it wasn’t until one particular curbside pickup that I realized another set of mixed messages happening and how quickly dogs pick up on your energy.
Stranger danger or stranger with groceries (and dog treats)
During one grocery store run, when a stranger walked toward the two of us and asked me if I had a spare dollar, I shook my head and told him I don’t keep cash on me. (This wasn’t a lie. I rarely if ever carry cash, and it’s been that way since elementary school after one purse-snatching memory.)
Because Junee was used to a stranger walking up to us with grocery bags, she looked at him curiously, possibly wondering why he had no bags or a wagon. She still sat down in the parking lot space more calmly than she usually does when a stranger walks too close to me. (She’s barked her head off at two food delivery guys just innocently needing directions.)
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While I typed my parking lot pickup space in the grocery store app, the guy asked for money again. Junee still wasn’t barking, but he now had her full attention. I looked from her face to him, knowing this quiet demeanor wasn’t going to last much longer. I calmly repeated that I don’t keep cash on me, and kept looking from my phone to one of the exit doors to see if an employee was headed my way.
The guy suggested that I buy him new clothes by using my phone apps. My facial expression changed to annoyance at his audacity. I stopped looking at the door and looked directly at him, stating firmly, “No.”
Junee went from sitting to raising her hind legs slightly — not quite sitting but not quite standing. More like hovering.
“Are you from Illinois?” he asked.
Now I was pissed. I’d already told him no three times, and he’d gotten to the point of asking questions that not only weren’t any of his business but he should’ve walked away a long time ago.
“Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaan,” I said in a tone that was making it clear that my cool was wearing completely off. I’m already not the most even-tempered person you’ll ever meet, but I make a concerted effort to try not to let people stress me out. I’m forever giving something away on Craigslist or Freecycle. And I donate change all the time to charities when I purchase orders. However, this errand was becoming a bit much, especially considering this was my first time choosing curbside pickup when I’d always chosen grocery delivery from this same location. If this was what every pickup would be like, I was already counting myself out.
Junee apparently noticed a shift in my tone and stood. She still wasn’t barking. But she was far more alert while watching me involuntarily talk to a guy who was not a store employee. I’m not sure if her standing was what made him leave or my “maaaaaaaaaaaaaaan,” but he did walk away after that. I saw him slip behind a few other cars and walked backward a little bit, making sure he wasn’t on the other side of the car next to me. Seconds later, a beaming store employee walked toward me with a cart full of familiar items that were clearly my order.
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This was one of those moments when I pondered whether it was a bad idea for me to try to add two hats to the same hook. (As a vegetarian, I don’t co-sign the “kill birds” phrase.)
First, not everybody likes dogs. Arriving curbside with a dog hasn’t always gotten a friendly response during the five years of being Junee’s owner. (While about 75% of the people I encounter are immediately in love with Junee, one lady jumped as soon as she saw her. Another refused to come near me, so I apologized and told her to put the bag on the ground. A third worker glared at me and he refused to talk, positioning his wagon between us, even though my foot was on the leash so she couldn’t move.)
Second, I was teaching my dog that strangers walking up to me was normal and welcome — and the guy pestering me to buy him clothes was a perfect example of why that wasn’t always true.