When will someone admit that dog parks are like beauty salons?
You can always find these characters at both places
Coronavirus definitely put a monkey wrench in my plan of walking two to four dogs daily on weekdays. Before my condo association did away with the no-pet rule, I’d decided I was going to be a freelance dog walker and dog caregiver. If I couldn’t have a dog in my condo, I’ll be damned if anyone were going to stop me from hanging out with them in someone else’s neighborhood. And so I did. Although I still have not gotten over the 500-walk hump because all of the owners of my favorite dogs are at home again, the one thing I must admit I do not miss at all are dog parks.
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They used to be an absolute blast to hang out in without a dog. At my first apartment years ago, I lived near a dog park. I’d stroll over to the nearby beach, stretch out on the rocks or a park bench, and enjoy a good book and seeing dogs walk around. Every blue moon, a dog would come running over to me and I’d giddily greet him (or her). It wasn’t until I started actually walking dogs in a dog park years later that I realized the characters there remind me so much of beauty salons.
Recommended Read: “Relaxer risks: Should black women be blaming our beauticians, perm manufacturers or ourselves? ~ Who came up with the four- to six-week rule for perms anyway?”
Initially I thought it was only me who was running into these characters. But now that I update the Twitter account @OHDogPark for a dating site for pet lovers, I’m always looking for funny dog park stories. And I hear more gripes than hilarious stories. It’s a love-to-hate-it kinda place to be. When it’s quiet, and you can just sit back and hang out while your dog runs around, it’s a lovely place to be. But when these characters show up, it’s time to grab the leash, the treats and race your dog out of the gate.
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As an Amazon Affiliate, I earn a percentage for every purchase with my referral links.
The Grumpy: You can never figure out why this person even bothered to show up if she was in a bad mood. She storms in the beauty salon door and is complaining the entire time. Do not expect her to tip the beautician or like the hairstyle afterward either. Dog park version: This is the owner who knows her dog is an absolute bitch (female or male) but still lets this dog wreak havoc on all the other nicely playing dogs at the dog park. You will either have to get your dog away from this aggressive dog, or you have the kind of dog who is about that life and won’t back down. In which case, you should probably leave anyway.
Recommended Read: “Racism is NOT equivalent to being anti-pit bull ~ Stop using the term ‘racist’ when you don’t know what it means”
The Busybody: There is that one lady in the beauty salon who is either a serial single or loves to remind you she’s married 50x in a conversation, and wants to give you unsolicited relationship advice. She’s an absolute pain for single women who are on Team Mind My Business and makes us look bad. Or, we start to inquire whether her marriage is all it’s cracked up to be. Dog park version: This is the dog owner who spends more time hawk-eyeing how you interact with your dog, what treats you feed your dog, what toy your dog has, whether your dog is groomed enough and any other possible thing she can think of to give you advice on. Meanwhile, all you wanted to do was just let your dog get some exercise and listen to your Spotify playlist.
The Flirt: This lady cannot wait for male company to come in the beauty salons. Be it a visiting barber, the mail carrier, the delivery guy, or somebody’s random uncle or son, she’s hitting on every human being with a penis. On one hand, you respect her initiative. On the other hand, you want to pull her to the side and tell her if she eased up a bit, maybe she could get men to chase her.
Dog park version: This is the dog that is going around humping every single dog at the dog park. While it’s pet nature to sniff around crotches, this dog is banging it out on everything. And the owner almost always thinks it’s funny to see this dog just humping away as your dog (and other people’s dogs) are trying their best to flee. On the upside, if you have friends who are looking for puppies, befriend this pet owner. You know (s)he’s good for it!