Hey lady, you do not have a ‘fur baby’
Why I grudgingly denied the term ‘fur baby’ versus human babies
Nothing says weirdo quite like someone referring to their dogs as “fur babies.” I visualize people who put their K9s in strollers and let these dogs lick them on the lips. They have a ginormous assortment of pet outfits. They feed their dogs hummus and only give them filtered water. They unashamedly don’t realize how bizarre this is.
It’s pretty simple, really. A dog has four legs, and a human baby has two. One has fur (excluding poodles), and the other has hair. You don’t send your “fur baby” off to college or walk her down the aisle. Yes, you can indeed be a “grandparent” to the dog, should you keep track of the puppies. But for crying out loud, stop calling your dogs “fur babies.”
My protest against the phrase started in March, around the same time I became a professional dog walker. Babysitting makes me nervous, but dog walking is the absolute easiest job ever.
Of course there are some tasks that took time to get used to. I had to carry that Shetland Sheepdog and American Eskimo down the steps. Their legs were a bit too fragile to walk alone; they were more than 14 years old. And there was the 1-month-old Labrador Retriever who wouldn’t walk more than a few feet before flopping his butt down on the ground. He couldn’t really walk for long periods of time yet; he’d just been separated from his mom. I had to make sure his teething toys were nearby when I brought him back, too.
Still though, these are dogs.
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As an Amazon affiliate, I earn a percentage from purchases with my referral links. I know some consumers are choosing to boycott Amazon for its DEI removal. However, after thinking about this thoroughly, I choose to continue promoting intriguing products from small businesses, women-owned businesses and (specifically) Black-owned businesses who still feature their items on Amazon. All five of my Substack publications now include a MINIMUM of one product sold by a Black-owned business. (I have visited the seller’s official site, not just the Amazon Black-owned logo, to verify this.) If you still choose to boycott, I 100% respect that decision.
Then there was the Louisiana Catahoula Leopard Dog who followed me every single place I went, including sitting near the bathroom. I tried to hold a video conference call for work when she went to sleep. As soon as I logged in though, she jumped up and decided to put her entire face in my laptop screen as soon as I pressed record. While I discussed Google analytics and social media marketing, she put her nose on my face and flopped into my lap.