Sleeping with dogs and bed hogs
When you finally give up on sleeping alone
Dogs should stay on the floor — not on my couch or on my bed. That is how I was raised. My parents had no idea that I’d scooped my Labrador Retriever mutt up and rolled him into my comforter to take photographs. Obviously by the time they got home, I’d unrolled him and we sat on the floor. And I hadn’t let a dog on my bed again for 22 years of dog ownership — until I decided to house sit for the first time. That is when I came to the conclusion that dogs are quite comfortable to sleep with, including the bed hogs.
First there was the Louisiana Catahoula Leopard dog who would leap off the couch and run in front of me every single time I went into the guestroom. She was ready at all times to sleep sideways. No matter how you climbed into that bed, she was going to make sure you were next to her in some form or fashion. I tried outsmarting her by laying parallel. She leaned her entire body over, belly up, so she was still leaning on me.
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Then came the Ridgeback Pit mix, who’d attacked a skunk two days before I got to her home. She stank to high heaven when you got close to her, and my first thought was, “There is no way in hell I’m going to let that dog sleep next to me.” She had better ideas. She squeezed her 50–60 pound body underneath my bed each night and stayed planted there. So if I snuck out of the bed, she could see my feet. And if I climbed on the bed, she knew where I was. When the maid came while I was sleep, she knew it. When the gardeners were outside, she knew it. And eventually, I got so used to the smell underneath me for eight days that I stopped thinking skunks have a smell. Should I be concerned?
Recommended Read: “Dogs and dating: The no-dogs-on-bed rule ~ What do you do when your significant other doesn’t like dogs in your home?”
I lucked out with the French Bulldog and Great Pyrenees/Poodle Mix, who slept behind baby gates and crates. But that certainly didn’t stop the French Bulldog from making sure to only poop as close to the baby gate as possible. Some people wake up to the smell of bacon and coffee. Not me. I woke up on a couch next to the smell of puppy poop.